Time for Down Time

I finally did it.

Closed my eyes (literally) and when I woke up, the painful bunion on my left foot was gone. Extricated, eliminated from my foot forever. Or so I hope. I’d been delaying this for years until the pain became too much to bear.

The truth is, I’d been so fearful about the lifestyle change this surgery would bring about: no traveling for three weeks (oh lord, how does one stay in the same place for that long?), wearing a boot for four, wearing a sneaker for four more. I’d just gone on a shopping spree in San Francisco, picking up the cutest pairs of shoes and boots for the season. There they sit, in their little shoe bags, waiting to get picked up and worn.

They’ll remain there. At least for three more months.

I’ve been googling – “cute party outfits with sneakers” – because that’s how my new look will be for the holidays.

Day two after the surgery and I am bored to death.

There are no words to write, no books that interest me, no TV shows that are holding my attention.

There’s work. So far, I’ve built three power point presentations.

That’s good, I guess.

For people like me, slowing down requires a conscious effort. Sometimes things happen that make you realize how important it is to take some time for yourself. Last week, it was a very sick friend. A massacre at a synagogue. The senseless death of three young children. All these events helped me to realize that life is speeding by, that time can never be recovered. It’s never the right time or place or moment – things hardly every go as planned. When you make the decision to go for something, it’s worth the risk to see it through. Whatever the situation, whether it be surgery. Or simply taking a few days to recoup and regroup. Everyone needs some down time.

This is my time, I guess. I’ll be staying home for a week and then at a hotel to be close to the office for another week. Two weeks will have passed by then, and I’ll be able to walk around more and more as time goes by. I’m hoping things go back to normal quickly – but when they break a bone and screw it back on, I think it will take some serious healing time. In the meantime, here I sit. Writing this and that. Maybe I’ll be able to finish The Year I Left which has been delayed since May. Maybe I’ll gain a lot of weight, sitting on my ass while eating Lindt Truffles. Or maybe I’ll be in the best shape of my life (upper body shape, that is) because I’ll be so bored I’ll have to work out. I don’t know. It’s only day three. But it’s the third day of the rest of my two months of slowing down.

That’s all I know, and I’m okay with it.

Until I’m not. And then we’ll see.