This is The Year
Something big is happening this week!
And it’s taken me a few months to process.
I am turning 60!
There’ve been so many steps to get here. It’s a young culture, you know. So much emphasis is placed on looking young, acting young, thinking young. And although I hardly feel my age, there’s no denying. I am at that age.
So, how does one getting this old finally come to terms with it?
It wasn’t that difficult, really. At first, the change in appearance was pretty tough to take. The thinning hair, the expanding middle, the loose skin around my knees. They were quite heartbreaking – considering just ten years ago, I was nicknamed “Legs Gomez” by colleagues. In secret, of course. Now, I’ve given in to dyeing my hair, watching what I eat, Botox (forehead only!), sleeping early and hiding my arms, and never leaving the house without makeup. And if the physical part goes downhill from here, the mental side slips slower, but slips all the same. I write things down now, have notes and schedules and checklists. Nothing different from the organized Taurus I’ve always been, but I find myself referring to my notes more and more this year. And if you think this list is complete – I haven’t even begun to tell you how blurry my vision has gotten and how the font adjustment on my Kindle is a godsend.
But then there’s this. Amidst all the regrettable physical changes, there’s been an emotional shift inside me. I can summarize these thoughts and feelings in three main categories:
- I’ve found myself.
- And because I know who I am, I no longer care to prove anything to myself or to others.
- Relationships are investments. You get as much as you give, and so you need to give. Really give.
These three things have brought me peace. And in that circle of peace is where you will find my husband, my three children, our Sheepadoodle, and a handful of friends who will always be there for me. That’s a huge thing to realize at this old age. It’s everything, actually. The people you love and cherish are the ones that show you how much you’ve impacted the world. How much you’re respected, depended on, trusted. Turning 60 has helped me to place things in perspective. And slowly, I am learning to accept the accolades of my life. The success of my children, the love of my husband, the awards, the promotions, my failures and my successes. They are all the necessary pieces of the life I’ve lived.
And I’m not going to lie. Last week’s Illinois CPA Society Leadership Award was the icing on the cake for me. It gave me the confidence to know that all my efforts to impact the world, weren’t for nothing. After that award was announced, I received numerous messages informing me that I am the first Asian-American/Filipina awardee in the 23 years of its existence. This is a fact I have not verified, but it is an incredible honor all the same. As I’m writing my acceptance speech, I am cursing and laughing at the irony of this award. After all, I did fail the CPA Exam three times.
Peace comes easily now. It comes in the silence of the night, when my heart is light and thankful. When I no longer fear the distance of the sky nor the depths of the sea. Peace comes easily despite life’s unreliable storms. It is knowing that I have done my best and worked my hardest, without losing myself in the process.
Next weekend, my family is hosting a 60th birthday party for me. The guest list boasts 40 of the people who have played a huge part in my life (except my sisters who cannot make it at this time). Sure, there will be a table full of CEOs and EVPs and CMOs – really important friends who have helped me to get to where I am. But like me, they are just people. And what matters most is that they are my people. The people I love most in my life.
Thank you for the birthday love, the friendship and for coming on this journey with me. Whether you’re still here, or have dropped off along the way – knowing you has impacted my life and made me who I am today.
xo