Peace Becomes You

Mercury is in retrograde.

In layman’s terms (because I do read my horoscope every week – whether I take it seriously is another story), I guess that means all hell is breaking loose as we speak. At least for Taurus (me), this is supposed to be a period of questioning, of reckoning, of ultimately deciding and moving on.  In retrospect, it has been a tough two weeks at work. I’ve had to handle difficult situations, spent most of my time trying to solve issues that required all of my focus, was misquoted, misinterpreted and worked late into the night to finish a ton of deliverables.  My energy is zapped, I don’t feel like I accomplished much at work and even at home. And that’s a pretty rare thing for me – this spitfire feels like she’s run out of fire.

Our old house just won’t sell. Even if I’ve buried two Saint Joseph statues and kept another one in the kitchen looking out the window. We’re trying to move into the new house, but the building inspector feels he has more important things to do than perform the final inspection. And just this week, I’ve had to walk away from a really difficult situation which warrants a blog post on its own.

So, yes, I am exhausted.

Yes, I am discouraged.

But I’m not angry, or hopeless or even sad. Because I understand the Yin and Yang of the universe. I know I can’t have it all, I know that everything gets equalized eventually. I’ve always thought of the universe as having a big bucket of journeys that are doled out in equal parts. You take, you give back. Your happiness is fleeting, but so should be your sadness. It’s the cycle of life and the destiny of all living things. In giving all the good you can, I believe that the bucket tips in our favor.

Silly thoughts for someone who’s got a load of experience in both areas.

I think it’s the peace that comes with knowing that I’ve had my share of so much good, these disappointments will be inevitable. And in the scheme of all the good that’s come my way, I find myself looking at the big picture instead of wallowing in the bad day I’ve had. The kids are healthy, our home is full of love. It’s the love we have for each other that overcomes anything negative that tries to rip us apart. The tiny victories, whether it be a compliment from my boss, or a moment of laughter, falling in love, or feeling loved and supported. And the knowing that you’ve done all you can, that you’ve accepted things with utmost grace and candor, that you don’t waste time fighting just to fight. That you hold yourself and those you love in dignity and respect – these are Yangs of the universe. The actual forces that though contrary, are indeed complimentary and necessary.

Retrograde or not, I’ve learned to take things one super eventful day at a time.

Peace comes with the big picture.

Peace comes with knowing that all in due time, there will be light.