Big New World, Little Old Me

I was told I have to blog more. And I haven’t been doing it, not because I have nothing to say. On the contrary, if I allowed myself to let it go, you’d be getting all the interesting details of my life for the past year. After all, isn’t that what prompts me to write? Instead, here I sit, struggling to filter out my thoughts so as not to incriminate myself. From what I’ve done in the last year, for the struggles, the heartache, the loving and the un-loving, from the smiles and tears – well, you get it.

I have always been lucky enough to live in a small world. A world with opportunities, successes, trials and challenges. A world where the miles from one point to the other don’t matter, and where languages and cultures unite us, not divide us. Everything seemed attainable with hard work. With dedication and perseverance, I became the one who juggled motherhood, wifehood, friendships and career and kept them all high up in the air. I was one of those who steadfastly maintained my integrity in the midst of competition and the struggle to succeed.

Self-Publishing, no matter how difficult it had seemed in the beginning, is a cinch compared to this new venture. You write a book. You send it out to beta readers. They tell you what they think. You make changes, you send to your editor. Your editor helps to make it better. You go back and forth for two weeks – in the meantime, your cover is done, you’re running blog tours and sending Arcs for review. And then you release your book. You have a wonderful Street Team who helps to get you in the rankings.  You hardly break-even but hey, this isn’t your full time career, so you’re okay with it. You write for yourself. End of story.

 Or so I thought.

I should probably place all the blame on my agent for talking me into this. The thing is, if it weren’t for her, I know I wouldn’t be writing this post. So this is really a happy post. A thankful post. A post that gives kudos to the one person who truly believes I can do this.

 And so, here I am, wading in the water, testing my resilience and courage as I take the leap into the realm of traditional publishing. There are so many things I have yet to learn, so many disappointments I have yet to experience. And yet, the challenge that lays ahead is so exhilarating, so daunting, so me. Who knows if I’ll even succeed in this new world? It’s bigger, more complicated, more selective, more brutal. It’s like entering into another dimension. The twilight zone of patience. Of waiting, and revising and waiting again.

There are so many things in life that don’t come easy.

But there are also so many things in life that are worth the wait. Sure, there will be pain and heartache and many hours of frustration and angst. But I’d rather live through them all than face the fact that I didn’t try at all.

Thank you all, for sticking with me through this. I hope to have news for you all soon.